英国幽默短句

1. “I was so hungry I thought I saw a pizza box and I ate it. It was a dream come true – it was a box of tissues.”

2. “I’m not a morning person, but I’m awake for the same reason you are: because the alarm clock is a mean son of a gun.”

3. “I asked the doctor, 'How do you know I have a hangover?' He said, 'You're still here.'”

4. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me and said, 'You mean they’re not supposed to be on my forehead?'”

5. “I was trying to decide what to wear, and I realized I was out of clean clothes. So I just put on my pajamas and decided to go with it.”

6. “I tried to catch a plane, but I missed it because I was trying to figure out which way to go. I decided to take a train instead.”

7. “I was trying to explain why I was late, and my friend said, 'Well, that’s a bit like explaining why you have a head. It’s just there.'”

8. “I tried to explain to my cat that I was taking her to the vet, but she just sat there with a look on her face like, 'I knew you were up to something.'"

9. “I told my wife I was going to clean the bathroom, and she said, 'That’s nice. But could you maybe do it while I’m not watching?'”

10. “I was trying to explain to my dog why he can’t eat the chocolate, and he just looked at me like, 'Are you really going to try that with me?'"